1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks. (OR YEARS)
2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it.
HOW CAN I HIDE FROM THIS PAIN, but I have no guilt.
Life is so scary.
3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration yes, but no bargaining!
4. “DEPRESSION”, REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be “talked out of it” by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair. I truly do!
7 Stages of Grief…
5. THE UPWARD TURN- YEA NO WAY!
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your “depression” begins to lift slightly. maybe just a little
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. Some days are harder than others!
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.
I will find my way forward, but I shall never be who I was! Never again.
I write to help me as well as others that may pass by – It’s just not all about me!
I found this 7 stages of grief as I was searching for a poem to read this evening, the night of my son’s 2nd year anniversary.
May “God” bless my sick friends, my thoughts and prayers are with you ~ you the passers by!
I know today my friends are thinking of me – it’s just so hard to be alone in cyberspace on a Monday!
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