Vonna Today

7 Stages of Grief…

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks. (OR YEARS)

2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it.
HOW CAN I HIDE FROM THIS PAIN, but I have no guilt.

Life is so scary.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration yes, but no bargaining!

4. “DEPRESSION”, REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be “talked out of it” by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.

During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.  I truly do!

7 Stages of Grief…

5. THE UPWARD TURN-  YEA NO WAY!
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your “depression” begins to lift slightly. maybe just a little

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one.  Some days are harder than others!

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-

During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.

I will find my way forward, but I shall never be who I was! Never again.
I write to help me as well as others that may pass by – It’s just not all about me!

I found this 7 stages of grief as I was searching for a poem to read this evening, the night of my son’s 2nd year anniversary.

May “God” bless my sick friends, my thoughts and prayers are with you ~ you the passers by!

I know today my friends are thinking of me – it’s just so hard to be alone in cyberspace on a Monday!

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I was emailing a friend back and forth today. It was an awakening for me to start reading again, reading about Bereavement. I feel that I have lost touch with a little of this and a little of that. You see Jonathan would not of wanted me to live the rest of my life sad. Jonathan was a happy, loving, funny, goofy kind of guy!

On my journey today to the back therapist as I got in the car a penny fell on my head. Jonathan will never leave me.

“Jonathan my angel on Earth as he is my angel in heaven!”

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Blossoms on my Table

It is spring time, the neighborhood comes out to enjoy those beautiful rare days in Chicago where the weather is just perfect.

A few weeks ago when I came home from the doctor one of the neighborhood boys was outside. I stopped the car to chat with him. This boy now so big and now in High School.

This same boy who was only a young lad two seasons ago was the only person from my neighborhood who actually stopped me to let me know he was sorry about my son. That moment in time I shall never forget.

I woke up this morning and to my surprise as I looked out our sliding glass window I saw an arrangement of floral petals placed on some green leaves upon my small glass top table on the patio.

You see when I stopped to chat with this boy a few weeks ago and I thanked him for stopping that day to say he was sorry about Jonathan.

We spoke of motherly love.

We spoke of his first semester in High School

We spoke of his trials and tribulations at school.

We spoke about so much more…

We spoke of Jonathan and laughed

We spoke of motherly love.

During our little chat I had just mentioned the fact that Jonathan’s Grandfather had told him no matter what you do each day give your mother something, whether that be a blade of grass, a weed, a daisy, a rock, a stick, a flower, that dead ugly bug or better yet a hug everyday.